Truth, Paperwork & Pushback. Stories, strategy & sarcasm from NJR Advocacy, LLC

 I tend to over communicate. Is that a bad thing? Maybe sometimes. But in this case, it was extremely helpful. I’d lay awake at night writing emails in my head. I was always thinking… How can I fix this? Really, what am I missing? What are THEY missing? When things got bad in 7th grade, I combed through my emails. Much to my surprise, I was able to find messages I had written to the school all the way back in 2nd grade. I didn’t know it at the time I wrote them, but those emails told a story—the story of me pleading for help. Each of those emails was met with Band-Aids that never worked. On repeat. From K through 7th grade. Until they had no choice but to address them. Those emails are what got my son outplaced to a private school in an IEP meeting—which is rare. I’m still a little shocked at how easy it was to get them to agree to it. I’ve heard horror stories about families being forced into due process and how hard it is to win. I was told it depends on the mood of the roo...

 Let’s talk about the emotional trauma you experience as a parent advocating for your child. Never in a million years had I imagined this was even a thing when I sent my first child to school. I truly believed they had his best interests at heart and would do whatever was needed to help him learn and grow. Well, that thought didn’t last very long. “What do you mean you don’t see that he can’t sit still? Or that he can’t focus for more than five seconds? Or write with normal spacing and letter height on the lines of the paper?” “So wait, you’re saying it’s okay that he’s writing letters backwards?” That one still throws me for a loop. “We can read what he writes,” they said. Eventually, it turned into: “It’s just his ADHD.” And I fell for it. Repeatedly. I walked out of every meeting feeling like an overprotective mom. That mom. And it didn’t just end with my oldest son. It continued with my other children too. “We don’t see that here.” Okay, great. Just because you don’t...

  I can promise you that no parent walks into that room wanting to fight. All we want is for the school district to understand who our child is, what they struggle with, and brainstorm how the district can support those little humans that we love so much. You spend many nights before the meeting lying awake, role-playing in your head. You spend your days researching, overthinking, preparing, and looking for any past evidence you can find to prove your point. Then you walk into that meeting. You, a regular education teacher, a special education teacher, an “administrator,” and anyone else who can contribute—which sometimes can be multiple other people. You hear that you are just as much a part of the team as the many other people in that room. But are you? Because it seems to me that you’re outnumbered. The school team asks for your input, which you give. The input you’ve spent days gathering. The input that you think will hold a lot of weight… And then you hear it. Those fiv...

If you had asked me what your future looked like back in February of 2020, my answer wouldn’t have been a very positive one. February 2020 is a time I wish I could take away from your story. Watching you struggle the way you did was one of the hardest things I’ve ever faced. It is a place I would not wish on anyone.   And yet — through your own hard work and perseverance, you kept moving forward.   In 8th grade, when we finally discovered that your challenges were rooted in dyslexia, it gave you the understanding you had deserved all along.   Instead of being a victim, you made a choice: you were going to learn. And you did.   That drive. That determination. That is why we are here today.   You worked harder than anyone saw to get here. You faced things most adults couldn’t handle — and you never stopped being the incredible person you are.   And let’s be honest — I’ve been one step ahead of your emotions your whole life. You still look at me like, “HOW do ...

The Connecticut General Assembly Special Education Committee recently held a Special Education Listening Tour at four locations throughout the state where I read the following testimony that I wrote. It was an honor to have the opportunity to speak. And spoiler alert, I didn't make it through without crying! Hello, my name is Robin Beauchemin. I live in Southington, CT. · Kindergarten · 1st grade · 2nd grade · 3rd grade · 4th grade · 5th grade · 6th grade · 7th grade · 8th grade 9 years in our public school system… That is how long it took to figure out that my son has dyslexia. For context, until he had an outside evaluation that diagnosed his dyslexia, he never had anything more than a 504. During this time, I could not work because my son was refusing to go to school. Because every single day that he showed up, he felt inadequate. The school trauma is so embedded in his brain that now, as a senior in high s...

  Groundhog Day, again. But this time I wasn’t dreading it because I thought it’d be a tough year – but because my little boy, the kid that made me a mom and taught me so much about myself, was about to enter his senior year of high school. And I’m dreading the day that he grows up and moves out. The one positive from this nightmare we had been living is that it has brought us very close. He’s been my hiking buddy, lunch buddy, grocery shopping buddy…. He’s just always there. He’s continuing his tutoring at the library. He has a very light schedule: OG, math, independent health, shop class and independent gym. Second semester will be even lighter. OG. That’s it! One important thing to understand is the gap that being identified as a dyslexic learner so late in life can leave. For example, when he was identified in 8th grade, he was reading at a 5th grade level. That means he was 3 years behind. Now as a 12th grader, he is reading at a 10th grade level, which means he is still 2 y...

  I’m sick of this Groundhog Day crap. I think by year 11 I was starting to lose my positive attitude. We have exactly two more school years, 360 school days to figure this out. But wow, we are quickly running out of time. All those older people who told me to enjoy it because it goes by so fast, yeah – I guess you weren’t kidding. Anyway, onward and upward – mostly because there isn’t another choice. Remember the special education coordinator that I was unsure of? I am now sure that she is the most PHENOMENAL school employee I’ve ever had the pleasure to work with. She instantly fell in love with my son. She even supported his side business by purchasing a dog silhouette made of wood from him. She was what we needed 11 years ago. And although I’m sad she’s just walking into our lives now; SHE was the answer we needed; I think. Long story short, December came and here we were again with the headaches and the stomach aches. Lots of “I don’t feel good”, lack of sleep, spending a lot...