The Power of the Parent Paper Trail

 I tend to over communicate. Is that a bad thing? Maybe sometimes. But in this case, it was extremely helpful.

I’d lay awake at night writing emails in my head. I was always thinking… How can I fix this? Really, what am I missing? What are THEY missing?

When things got bad in 7th grade, I combed through my emails. Much to my surprise, I was able to find messages I had written to the school all the way back in 2nd grade.

I didn’t know it at the time I wrote them, but those emails told a story—the story of me pleading for help.

Each of those emails was met with Band-Aids that never worked. On repeat. From K through 7th grade. Until they had no choice but to address them.

Those emails are what got my son outplaced to a private school in an IEP meeting—which is rare.

I’m still a little shocked at how easy it was to get them to agree to it. I’ve heard horror stories about families being forced into due process and how hard it is to win. I was told it depends on the mood of the room that day. And if we lost, the district could come after us for their attorney’s fees. The attorney’s fees that you and I contributed to as taxpayers. Seems a little sketchy, right?

I was told that if all else failed, we could go to mediation to hopefully reach an agreement. And that typically, if you settle with a district, they’ll swear you to secrecy.

And I didn’t have to do any of that.

Full disclosure—I told my advocate I wasn’t leaving that IEP meeting until they agreed to outplace. And I wasn’t kidding.

I really wonder: had they identified my son with dyslexia in early elementary school, what would that have cost the district? I can’t imagine it would’ve been more than what ignoring it has cost them.

So what’s the takeaway? Over Communicate. Document everything. If your child comes home withdrawn, if they’re crying after school, if homework is a nightly meltdown—put it in an email.

Because rule number one: if it’s not in writing, it didn’t happen.